It’s arduous to think about something about Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce being relatable. She is, in any case, probably the most well-known pop star within the nation; he’s one of many greatest names within the NFL. Nonetheless, there’s one element Swift not too long ago shared about their whirlwind romance that any of us nonfamous of us can be taught from—and it’s a inexperienced flag price being attentive to the subsequent time you’re relationship.
In Wednesday’s episode of Kelce’s New Heights podcast, the “Merciless Summer time” singer provided a uncommon, extremely anticipated glimpse into their much-discussed relationship, together with Kelce’s trait that impressed her most early on: “An enormous inexperienced flag is that Travis has had the identical associates since he was in all probability 4 years previous,” Swift mentioned. “He’s extremely good at sustaining friendships. He’s so loyal, and his associates are equally loyal, they usually’re simply the funniest, most hilarious group of individuals.”
At first, this would possibly sound like a candy, throwaway element. However the skill to maintain long-term friendships is definitely extra than simply healthful—therapists say it’s a strong indicator of how somebody can present up for his or her companions too. Right here’s why.
Why your accomplice’s friendships actually matter
In accordance with Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, a New York Metropolis–primarily based scientific psychologist, “long-term friendships reside, respiratory proof that somebody can spend money on, restore, and nurture relationships over time.” Props to Taylor, who was clearly onto one thing.
For one, companionships that span a long time don’t survive on comfort or luck alone. Whether or not it’s distance, conflicting schedules, the occasional argument, or—let’s say—out of the blue getting into the highlight as a professional soccer participant, sustaining previous bonds requires dedication and energy. “It reveals how they worth genuine connections, can climate battle, and keep dedicated via life’s inevitable ups and downs,” Dr. Romanoff tells SELF. “It additionally means they prioritize depth over novelty,” suggesting that they don’t simply chase the subsequent thrilling fling or drift in the direction of new connections which might be enjoyable however finally fleeting. As a substitute, they spend money on the small, maybe extra boring (but crucial) gestures that preserve a friendship alive: checking in when life will get arduous, remembering little particulars that matter, and displaying up persistently.
How somebody prioritizes their platonic relationships additionally says loads about their ethical character, Kimberly Horn, EdD, MSW, psychologist and creator of Pals Matter, for Life: Harnessing the 8 Tenets of Dynamic Friendship, tells SELF. Somebody who retains companions shut via life’s curveballs—or, ahem, after a profession peak, sudden fame, or a powerful glow-up—is probably going a loyal and grounded individual. In different phrases, they’re in all probability not the sort to take benefit or out of the blue ghost after a minor disagreement.
Fairly, “they’re extra more likely to settle for folks as they’re,” Horn says. In any case, “they’ve seen their associates via excessive factors, low factors, all of the messy in-betweens—and nonetheless stayed.” So of their love life, that normally interprets into being a accomplice who can deal with change, embrace persona quirks, and worth you as an entire—not simply the shiny, glamorous components they see through the honeymoon section.
So how can this be utilized in our personal relationship lives, then? Whereas it’s tempting to concentrate on the standard markers of a “good” relationship—swoon-worthy dates, a bouquet of flowers, and phrases of affirmation—typically the quietest clue to somebody’s character is how they preserve the platonic connections that existed nicely earlier than you. It’s the type of high quality that might simply encourage a love music…or an entire album.
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