The premise of the buzzy “sticky eyes” flirting hack is easy: Lock eyes along with your goal, then look away such as you’ve been caught. However the subsequent time you look over, don’t break eye contact till they do. “In about 45 seconds, they are going to be proper in entrance of you, as if they’ve been summoned psychically,” one viral video guarantees.
It sounds straightforward sufficient, and loads of folks on-line have shared their very own success tales. Seemingly, it’s a intelligent hack to land a date—or no less than get the most well liked particular person within the bar to note you. And, to be truthful, there is some benefit (and psychology) to assist the sticky eyes methodology. “Nonverbal cues like eye contact are a solution to point out curiosity, displaying that you simply’re engaged,” Marisa T. Cohen, PhD, LMFT, New York Metropolis–based mostly psychologist and writer of From First Kiss to Perpetually: A Scientific Method to Love, tells SELF. Research have proven that locking eyes can enhance arousal: It’s that unstated “I discover you, you discover me” second that sparks intrigue and builds scrumptious sexual stress.
This idea isn’t tremendous groundbreaking, clearly, however I get why it’s taking off proper now. There’s at all times a marketplace for most of these methods—as a result of let’s be actual, trendy courting is exhausting. (Anybody who’s hung out swiping on the apps is aware of that.) So when a low-effort shortcut suggests it may possibly make issues simpler, it’s no shock plenty of us are keen to strive.
That mentioned, I’ve just a few causes to side-eye this entire pattern. To begin with, the idea of eye-fucking is hardly new, so why TikTok is treating this like some revolutionary secret is past me. “The time period sticky eyes is probably going getting consideration proper now just because folks discover it helpful to label generally noticed behaviors,” Dr. Cohen provides—becoming a member of the likes of different gimmicky flirting methods being rebranded as The Subsequent Huge Factor.
Just some months in the past, for instance, folks swore by the “triangle methodology”—a detailed cousin to sticky eyes that includes taking a look at somebody’s left eye, proper eye, right down to their mouth, then left eye once more. Then, there have been pheromone perfumes, the supposedly science-backed solution to make your self biologically irresistible (that are making a comeback on TikTok…once more). And let’s not overlook “hardballing,” a buzzy courting pattern that describes…being upfront about what you need in a relationship.
Past the truth that the sticky eyes flirting pattern is principally a repackaged trick with a catchier identify, my actual gripe with these viral love hacks is the “simply do that and growth—consideration!” mentality that comes with them. As if forming chemistry is that easy. The stress to comply with hyped-up tendencies makes it seem to be there’s a components, a “proper” means, so far—which, sarcastically, can sabotage our love lives. As a result of once we get too caught up in flirting “appropriately,” we generally “wind up with a fastidiously curated script consisting of all these orchestrated behaviors that’ll make you extra targeted on ways quite than precise connections,” Dr. Cohen factors out.